Personal post: Beware.
It is quite difficult to put yourself out there, to show people your biggest vulnerabilities, to strip yourself down and let people take a look.
For the past 8 months, I was in a relationship that was not good for me, I didn't realize that until now. It's very easy to get carried away, to let someone lead the way. I am not resentful, because that is the last thing I want to feel right now. I am writing this in hopes that people will reflect on their lives, I recently watched a video about abusive relationships and though thankfully mine was nothing like that, I, more than anyone should have been able to identify an abusive partner. I don't want to talk about the past, the things that happened, because that's where they will stay. I want to release.
It's incredible what the human mind and body can do. For the past few days I have been in shock and very unconsciously in shock. I guess I've been really good at hiding my feelings from others when things went wrong and I guess I got so good that I too believed that everything was okay. I had my moments, I'd feel the room suddenly spin out of control, my body became a thousand pounds heavy and I couldn't feel myself breathe. Shock.
I've distracted myself these days, that is until today, it has been strangely quiet in my house and coincidentally it has been very quiet in my mind. I walk and I feel empty, as if my body were a container of very, very, light organs. It's incredible what the mind and the body can do.
Emotions, what are they? Do we actually feel, is it actually real?
I was resistant to post anything, but this is an honest blog and more importantly I wanted every girl out there to realize that no matter how much you think someone means to you or how much you think you mean to someone, that your priority should always be, you.
And it's not a selfish thing, its a conscious thing, it's a love thing, it's a respect thing.
I have always been a believer of fairytales and magic and love.
And I refuse to let one person tear me down, and I refuse to let myself feel so torn to not rebuild myself, better and stronger.
Thank you for reading,
Sometimes it's better to let people go, it frees you and it frees them.
the end.
It is quite difficult to put yourself out there, to show people your biggest vulnerabilities, to strip yourself down and let people take a look.
For the past 8 months, I was in a relationship that was not good for me, I didn't realize that until now. It's very easy to get carried away, to let someone lead the way. I am not resentful, because that is the last thing I want to feel right now. I am writing this in hopes that people will reflect on their lives, I recently watched a video about abusive relationships and though thankfully mine was nothing like that, I, more than anyone should have been able to identify an abusive partner. I don't want to talk about the past, the things that happened, because that's where they will stay. I want to release.
It's incredible what the human mind and body can do. For the past few days I have been in shock and very unconsciously in shock. I guess I've been really good at hiding my feelings from others when things went wrong and I guess I got so good that I too believed that everything was okay. I had my moments, I'd feel the room suddenly spin out of control, my body became a thousand pounds heavy and I couldn't feel myself breathe. Shock.
I've distracted myself these days, that is until today, it has been strangely quiet in my house and coincidentally it has been very quiet in my mind. I walk and I feel empty, as if my body were a container of very, very, light organs. It's incredible what the mind and the body can do.
Emotions, what are they? Do we actually feel, is it actually real?
I was resistant to post anything, but this is an honest blog and more importantly I wanted every girl out there to realize that no matter how much you think someone means to you or how much you think you mean to someone, that your priority should always be, you.
And it's not a selfish thing, its a conscious thing, it's a love thing, it's a respect thing.
I have always been a believer of fairytales and magic and love.
And I refuse to let one person tear me down, and I refuse to let myself feel so torn to not rebuild myself, better and stronger.
Thank you for reading,
Sometimes it's better to let people go, it frees you and it frees them.
the end.
